Buhtt sex?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
