the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
