Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
