we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
