I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
