Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
