I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
