I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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