ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
