i can't believe i had my finger in that
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
