BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
