so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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