I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
