No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
