I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
