Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
