It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
