I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
