Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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