I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
