I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
