Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
