Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
