you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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