you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
