I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
