My room smells like vodka and shame
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
