Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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