Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
