Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
