What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
