Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
