Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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