nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
