Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
