When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
