and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
