Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
