Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
