first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
as a side note pls kill me
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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