I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
