I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
