I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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