i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
