butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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