doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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