Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize
