I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
