Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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