But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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